I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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