i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Barsexuality is the new black.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
