i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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