dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
