I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
