What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I have feelings that need drinking.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
