my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
