It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
