you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
