dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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