I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize