Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I've blown a few things in my day
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
