And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
