Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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