Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
They are going to name an STD after you.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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