I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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