dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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