just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize