O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Randomize
