I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
