My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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