My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
