brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
