Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
