WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
