Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
