he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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