Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Your penis caused this!
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
