We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
