Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
