Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
