I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
