let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
