i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize