We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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