Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
