That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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