So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
