and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
