It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
True strength comes from lack of pants
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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