I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
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