Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize