I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
