when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize