I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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