Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
