What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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