I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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