are you still at the devil's house?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize