Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize