Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
