Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
