hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
