I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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