No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
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