I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
