Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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